And She Was Happy

I went to a rehearsal dinner barbecue for Marco and Audrey who are getting married today in a Portuguese-Jewish wedding ceremony (has that ever been done before?) Was a beautiful night and everyone seemed happy and looking forward to the nuptials. Or if they weren't so pleased, they did a bang up job of hiding it. I guess there had been some tension between the bride and the mother-in-law, one wanting things her way, the other maybe not wanting it at all...


I sat at a table with the bride's other friends, caught up with some old high school friends and then veered into some random tangentially related stories. I had made a bride and groom balloon sculpture for the event which intrigued the adults but especially intrigued Heather, 6, Bryan, 14, and Elly, 9, Marco's neices and nephew, who were looking for something to do and saw me as potential party entertainment.

So I busted out my balloon supplies (which I had really only brought along to do maintenance work on the sculptures if necessary) and made a butterfly, a mermaid, a crown and CatMan (an original superhero creation by Bryan). I started gathering a crowd from both the Silverio and Cooper families, who were all equally intrigued by the balloon making. I offered to teach people how to make a balloon dog, as I often do to somehow remove the mystique of what I do with balloons. As I've said before, it's empowering for people to be part of the magic.

Mrs. Silverio, Marco's mom, became one of my students and was actually one of the better ones. She followed my instructions ("And now you make the legs just like you made the ears...") with total ease; she was a natural born balloon twister. And she had a wonderful smile on her face the whole time. She seemed to fully enjoy learning this new skill and, as the mother-of-the-bride pointed out to me later, looked the happiest she had been in a long time.

And so the Silverios and the Coopers laughed a little and twisted some balloons together the night before their families, two religions and two cultures were to be joined together. And I felt good that I somehow had a part in making Mrs. Silverio happy.

I'm a Balloon Snob, But So Are My Friends

It's the summer and the balloon twisters are out in Harvard Square. Well, actually, this summer there's only one twister in the Square; the summer sped by before I had the chance to renew my Street Performer's Permit this year. I had enough paid gigs to fill my weekends anyway, so not such a loss.

So there's one balloon twister in Harvard Square this year. He sets up shop right outside the T so that everyone getting out at Harvard is greeted with his brightly colored creations on the rail. Maybe "creations" is a generous term. Maybe a better description would be just "lame things." His display consists of a few fully inflated 260s (the standard long twisty balloon) on top of which he ties 5" heart balloons. This "lame thing" involves not only zero creativity but also no twisting! Then he has some weird one-armed bear thing and some very unfun looking balloon person thing....it's really awful.

One morning, as I got out of the T, Lame Balloon Thing Man very unenthusiastically asked me "do you want a balloon?" I paused for a moment, looked at him and found myself on the verge of ALMOST saying something terribly rude like:

"You have no idea who you're talking to."

Then I realized I was a HUGE balloon snob and decided to simply smile and walk on.

I'm sure it doesn't help further inflate (no pun intended) my balloon ego that several of my friends have told me that they also spotted Lame Balloon Thing Man and told me that they were totally underwhelmed by his work now that they had seen mine. See--even my friends are balloon snobs.

Bicycle: The New Dog

Recently, I've received an enormous amount of requests to make bicycles. What's going on? Are bicycles the new dog?

Then I saw Wedding Crashers, in which Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson crash a wedding, scope out the scene and then divide up attention-gathering responsibilities:

"You dance with the flower girl; I'll make balloon animals."

The following scene is rather funny for many people I imagine, and particualrly funny for balloon twisters. Vince Vaughn is making a bunch of lame animals like mutated dogs and rabbits until he is challenged by a kid to make a bicycle. Vaughn smiles uncomfortably and admits that he can't make a bicycle. "Make me a bike, funny man!!" the exasperated child yells. Wipe pan, time goes by and the next scene is Vaughn presenting the kid with a rather large, awkwardly shaped bicycle made out of balloons.

The scene gets a good laugh out of the crowd. The joke is that wow, there's no way Vaughn would be able to make a bicycle and then, wow, he really did it and it's pretty impressive. I must be a balloon snob; I laughed at the joke, but was hardly impressed with the bicycle.

BALLOON BIKE IN PHOTO CREATED BY CHARLIE FOGARTY

I Can Make Everything Except...

Sachay Technologies had their Summer Family Day at this beautiful conference center in the woods. I showed up late (got terribly lost) but Stephanie told me it was fine because the face painter who was booked for the previous hour had also showed up late...phew! It's nice when people don't get mad at the party entertainment.

I was brought up to a place called the Gun Room where kids were eating yummy sundaes and proceeded to make butterflies, a fire-breathing dragon, swords, dogs, a dinosaur hat, a flower...I made one elephant (very cute) and then (of course) everyone wanted one. After a herd of elephants was born, I tried to suggest to the kids that I could make LOTS of things (I was getting bored of making elephants...). I said I could make ANYTHING...to which little Amy told me: "You can't make wind, because wind is invisible."

Crap. She was right. I can't make wind. Oh well.

Not My Best Friends' Wedding

The stylist who cuts my hair does an amazing job. She also rarely speaks, which leaves me with the sometimes difficult job of filling in the empty air with random conversation tidbits while she focuses on carving and slicing and shaping my curly mop.

Last time we met, I mentioned my foray into the world of professional balloon twisting and gave her my card. Within a week I had a phone call from Paula, another stylist at the Curly Bug Salon who hired me to do a bride and groom sculpture AND to twist for 2 hours at her upcoming wedding!

Bride and Groom were introduced to sounds of "Let's Get It Started" by Black Eyed Peas, danced first dance to some super cheesy Rod Stewart song that I'm sure he wrote for the very purpose of getting play at weddings. Everyone seemed psyched about the open bar (except for mix drinks) to compliment their breakfast (read: bacon and waffles) fare.

Was a great ($$) gig. Hotel staff oohed and aahed over bride and groom sculptures and kids heartily enjoyed the Spider-Man, Spongebob, Fireman (all firsts), lobster hat, Red Sox hat, flower hat, dolphin, monkey on palm tree, snail, butterfly, and tigers.

6-year-old Superheroes

6-year-old Luke's mom won a balloon birthday party that I donated to a school auction. "He likes superheroes and swords," she told me over the phone, so I loaded up my balloon belt with some Spider-Man balloons and some 5" heart balloons which I learned make great superhero heads.

Upon arriving in the FancyBurbs, I was greeted with a kiss (do I know you?) by Luke's bikini-clad, Miller Lite-carrying Mom. Luke's dad's smoky voice was gathering the kiddies around the ice cream cake while Luke continued to dive into the boxes of plastic toy presents he had just received, worried that each second he was away from them, new presents could have grown out of their cardboard surroundings.

Shortly thereafter, 25 sticky fingered 6-year-olds cornered me by the tree, urgently begging for Buzz Lightyears and swords and princesses. A group of highly out-of-control ADHD triplets could not stop touching the balloons in my belt. Kids, that's my only rule: no touching the balloon belt. Triplet dad told me that if Triplet #1 or #2 asked for a sword to tell him there were none left. Triplet #1 asked for a sword. I told Triplet #1 there were no swords left. He didn't believe me. I didn't blame him.

Luke, a young frat-boy-in-training wearing a mini authentic football jersey, was running around with a book of stickers yelling "STICKERS!!" and placing these decorations on everyone. "Here, balloon lady, "he said as he gave me a sticker of a clown holding balloons. I envisioned him 15 years from now wearing Zeta Beta Loser fraternity letters, ordering pledges to wear stickers in inapprorpiate places as part of their pledge week. Oh, and I knew Luke way back when...

Racism, Sexism, Balloonism

It's a Wednesday afternoon and I am at the Paramount Bowling Alley doing balloons for Leighton Industries Summer Family Party. I still get that uncomfortable "am I a freak?" thing running through my head when I see people my age at the party and I am the hired entertainment...but I persevere and start making a lady bug, dragonfly, penguin (a first), a flamingo, an elephant...

A young black family arrives. Their close-to 12-year-old daughter has beautiful corn rows braids and extensions in her hair. She asks me if I can make a person out of balloons. Since I can, I proceed to pull out a brown balloon to make a person that looks, well, more like corn row girl.

She is very excited about her balloon and as I start to twist the face with the brown balloon, she tells her mom, "look, she's making the hair!" I have a moment of balloon twisting panic where I realize that I'm trying to make a culturally appropriate balloon and maybe she was expecting a white girl with brown hair. Also, I know how to make cool looking corn rows too by using uninflated balloons so I do that, all the while worrying that I have somehow done something offensive because I have simply taken note of the color of corn row girl's skin. Race issues pervading even the balloon world.

After corn row girl, another little girl came to me and asked for a princess. So I made her one--with a pink flowy gown and golden blond hair. I guess I was too tired to challenge social ideas of femininity by that point.

Best Gig Ever

I got to bring along Missy the Facepainter again to the hula-themed AES Consulting Summer Outing party in the Keynes Academy fields. Our contact, Cherry, was a little tipsy upon our arrival and the DJ was orchestrating some game which involved all the burly consultants there to drag Cherry onto the dance floor. Chaos and party laughter ensued.

Missy and I tag-teamed again: I made swords and then she turned kids into pirates, with bloody face-painted gashes, battle scars and beards. Baby Amanda's mom wanted Elmo painted on Amanda's face while I made Elmo out of balloons for her. Baby Amanda looked like she wanted to take a nap, but her mom insisted that THIS is what she wanted. Whatever you say, Mommy!

But Missy and I decided this was the Best Gig Ever, because there were maybe a dozen kids total and they were all balloonified and face painted up in half an hour, so Missy and I spent the rest of our "paid vacation" eating free ice cream, talking about boys and watching consultants do the awkwards socializing dance that is the work softball game. Yes...

My Best Friends' Weddings

When you're in your 20s and have friends, you often spend a good portion of your summer attending weddings. Some weddings you wake up day-of, get all pretty, show up, take some pictures and leave.

But when the nuptials are between people YOU personally love and are excited about, well, then you have to make balloon sculptures.

The two sculptures pictured in this entry are (I think) my best work. I spent hours brainstorming, researching and practicing before creating them, but I'm most proud that all brides and grooms involved seemed genuinely happy with them and that maybe the sculptures made their weddings even more special. I was also happy to have had a unique way to express and deal with my own feelings about the weddings and people involved.

A few months before Missy got married, she told me about this obsession she had with diving from watching Leonardo the diving coach teach at her local pool. Sam, who always so sweetly listened and Missy's jabber, bought her diving lessons with Leonardo for her birthday (what a guy). Missy, of course, proceeded to freak out that not only was she getting married but was now literally "taking the final plunge." I also listen (and love) Missy's crazy mental twists and turns and decided to make a special sculpture for their wedding derived from that theme .


I had planned the nearly life-size sculptures of Joel and Ilyssa for weeks, and they took me all day to create. I couldn't bring myself to design the couple as bride and groom sculptures because knowing them as I do, I just could not picture them in all that formal wedding stuff. So I chose to make them with some festive wine and cheese, which is how I usually see them. Joel is appropriately holding the cheese (he's from Wisconsin, where people eat cheese and nothing else, right?) and Ilene is holding a bottle of wine, Vintage 1996, the year they met. The glasses were a new thing for me and I think came out well, even though Ilyssa looks a little bit like a drunken librarian...

Family of Twisters

When Great Aunt Sylvia turned 70, her daughters threw her a surprise party. Overwhelmed, she told them they shouldn't have done so much work for her (she's always flabbergasted when people recognize her greatness). So the daughters said, "Fine, when you turn 80, you can throw a party for yourself!"

So when Great Aunt Sylvia turned 80, that's just what she did. And what better way to celebrate than with a nearly life size sculpture of yourself in balloons! I used a new double-stuffing method (stuffed a red 260 inside a gold 260) for Sylvia's hair in this sculpture. Figured it was the best way to solve the "argument" between her and her daughters over what exactly is the color of her hair...

And possibly the most fun of the party was when I had heard enough of my cousins ask "how do you DO that?" that I busted out my balloon belt and started to give lessons. I had the whole family--young and old, cousins and people who were maybe my cousins but I had never met--twistin' up dogs and flowers and such. It was quite a scene.

Sometimes I think teaching will take the magic out of what I do for people, but I always find there's something empowering about being able to things out of balloons, as silly as that may sound. I guess it's just empowering when you hear people say, "I could NEVER do that!" and then you show them that they can.

Fun with a Collaborative Balloon Dragon

I met Skylar last year and in 48 hours, we were friends. When her birthday came around this year, her mom really wanted me to do the party, and even though it was a crazy weekend, I couldn't pass it up. Skylar at 11-years-old is insatiably curious and just so damn talented. She loved making balloon animals, something I had turned her onto so I decided to do something a little more exciting at her party.

I should premise this with the fact that though I am definitely over my first-gig jitters, birthday parties still make me nervous. I'm not very good or big on doing a balloon show--I don't have corny jokes, I don't have routines--I just kind of like to wow people with the balloons and talk to the kids about what they like to do, what they're learning in school, what they watch on TV. No one's ever complained about my "performance" but sometimes I think I'm not the best party entertainment.

Anyway, at Skylar's party I experimented with some collaborative balloon art. Skylar and I both showed some of the girls how to do some basic twists with the balloons and then we all contributed some part to the above picture Collaborative Balloon Dragon. Sure, it was kinda crazy looking, but the girls got so into making and adding parts and I once again felt great about empowering them to make the sculpture with me. In the end, I like that much better than getting up and "performing" in front of them. I was proud.

The Duck Parade

When Robert McCloskey wrote his famed book Make Way for Ducklings in 1976, I'm sure he had no idea to the extent with which Boston would actually physically "make way for ducklings." Every Mother's Day, kids from all over Massachusetts don their best feathery costumes and march around Boston Common, flapping their wings and quacking tiny yellow makeshift beaks. It is, truly, quite a scene.

But there is always one things missing: balloon ducks.

I happen to be very proud of the balloon duck I created. I've copied designs of many animals, but the duck is one I came up with on my own as I was playing around with these bizarre Clown Head balloons one day.

So I went down to Boston Common on Mother's Day with a bag full of Clown Head balloons and my pump and just made balloon ducks for the three hours of the parade. This was my first gig in Boston and I was slightly worried as I only have a permit for street performing in Somerville proper but the spirit of the day (how could you not be in a good mood kids roaming the streets dressed as ducks?) and an occasional smile to the Boston cops led me to believe I'd be ok...

A family of 4--two sunglassed parents, a little girl in a stylish rose sundress, a little boy in an untucked button-down Polo shirt, khakis and brown sandals--walked through the park and stopped at the short line of kids waiting to get their balloon ducks from me. "I want a teal duck with a magenta beak," said the little boy. "Yeah, and I want a lavender duck with an aqua beak and light red tail," chimed in the little girl. I, for one, was psyched at this color selection because honestly I was running out of yellow Clown Head balloons. The Sunglass parents decided to point out to me, "Our children are VERY creative."

If it made her feel better about sending her kids to $30,000/year preschool, then yeah, they are as creative as they get. I, on the other hand, was the one who was actually making the balloons, which may be slightly more creative than listing off colors you had read on a Crayola wrapper...

PHOTO COURTESY WWW.UNIVERSALHUB.COM

Running the Face Painting Union

Story to come!

My foray into performance art

Story to come!

Year 2: Down to Business

Still glowing from my new role in life as "Balloon Twister to the Stars," I am brought back down to reality of having my own business and needing to market myself. Year 2 begins with an afternoon at a JCC Bar Mitzvah Expo, which was sad in terms of the small sad booth I shared with the I-write-personalized-cake-ceremony-poetry lady and Magic Mike. Oy.

"You have to see my hawks!"

My Yoga Buddy knows a Party Planner in one of the FancyBurbs so she gave Party Planner my business card, website and sample sculpture I made to wow her. Party Planner decides to give me a shot and hires me to do decorations for the owner of the Atlanta Hawks basketball team.
Hawks Owner lives in one of the ReallyFancyBurbs and is having a party for the team as they are in town to play the Boston Celtics.

"Can you make the logo?" Party Planner asks.
"Sure!" I say. And I get the job!

I've learned to never say no when people ask if I can make something, because truthfully, the answer is. "Actually, I have no idea how to make the logo of the Atlanta Hawks." But I've found I'm pretty scrappy and resourceful and can usually figure out how to make anything with the help of BalloonHQ and the engineering genius of Lily.

Lily and Ellen came over one night to work on pre-construction of the bohemoth hawks. I showed them some wimpy atempts I had made--one really looked like a starving chick, another a design on an Aztec temple. Ellen, who has little twisting experience but will someday surpass me with her creativity, actually came up with idea to attach several woven sections together to create the magestic wingspan that I ended up using. I went to bed with my supplies laid out, sketches of the sculpture in my Everything Notebook and a clear vision of the day of work ahead of me.

Day of delivery: I woke up at 7AM, put on some comfy clothes and began pumping and twisting and twisting and twisting. I knew exactly what I had to do--now was all about putting all those ideas into action. By the hour, my room became filled with so many black, red and gold balloons, I could barely maneuver. I thought about moving some of the pieces into the living room, but got a kick out of the enormity of what I had created.

Eight hours later, I finished twisting. I called Ilyssa. "You have to see my hawks!" I told her. She immediately came by. I think she may have gasped.

I called Carol. She was my on-call driver. "I'm ready" I told her.

We detached parts of the sculptures, carefully placed them in Carol's and my vehicle and headed to Hawks Owner's home. I was nervous and proud and giddy. I thought for sure Hawks Owner and Party Planner would be so wowed at my creations that I would be invited to the party, get free tickets to the game, get twice my invoice. They would be so awestruck, something amazing would happen.

But when I arrived, Hawks Owner said the team's flight was delayed and party was cancelled. I brought the sculptures in, set them up in Hawks Owner's sky high ceilinged entranceway. I realized then that these sculptures that towered over me and enveloped my bedroom, were tiny and unassuming in a grandiose house and especially one that was soon to be filled with 7 foot tall people...

So after all the excitement of planning, building and creating the hawks, the delivery and reaction from the parties involved was, well, anti-climactic.

Whatever. At least I got paid.

The Paul McCartney Story

This story has become legend to anyone who knows me or who knows about my balloon twisting, but it's still as real as the day it happened in a portable trailer in Jacksonville, Florida.

I got a job working on Superbowl XXXIX (my other life) and somehow worked my way to become Paul McCartney (former Beatle, featured Halftime performer)'s assistant. Don't worry, I was definitely NOT the only one--he had scores of British lackeys there to make sure the lavender smelling candles in his dressing room were not too pungent and that his $600 bottle of Chateau Margeaux was available after his performance.

One of the producers of the Halftime show had heard about my balloon scultures and said that I could make something for Paul's dressing room if I wanted. This was obviously a chance to impress the former Beatle so I went to work.

I used the weaving and attaching technique I had used for the Hawks to make the guitar, which was really the signature piece of this scultpure. Especially since my Paul McCartney looks remarkably like my John Kerry which looks remarkably like my brother...

Anyway, the best part: Paul wants to watch the DVD recording of one of his rehearsal sessions. I am the one who presses play on his DVD player. So Paul, the Executive Producer of the Superbowl, the entire British brigade, a documentary crew, Paul's personal photographer and ME all go into his trailer to watch the DVD. Paul, who had not been inside the dressing room yet, walks in, looks around and stops when he sees the nearly life-size sculpture of him playing guitar out of balloons. He says:

"Aw! Look at that! 'At's brilliant!"

And then Paul McCartney picks up my balloon sculpture and starts jamming with the balloon guitar. He bops his head in a way that only a former Beatle could do and still look cool.

Marshall Barrow, his manager, points to me and says to Paul:

"You know, Paul, she MADE that."

Paul then turns to me and says:

"Did you make that, love?! 'At's really great."

And there you have it. I have reached balloon nirvana. A Beatle has danced with my balloon sculpture.

GLAD to be a family

Story to come!

The Harvard Grad in Harvard Square

Story to come!

Will Twist Balloons for Floor Pass

I really wanted John Kerry to be my President. And I actually believed he could be.

The week of the Democratic National Convention, the city was abuzz with so much excitement, you would have thought Massachusetts had never seen Democrats before. I had been volunteering/crashing events the whole week, but could not seem to find anyone who was able to help me get into the Convention Hall on Thursday night to hear Kerry speak. This was the big event; I had to be there.

So here's what I did:

I drove out to Rainbow Balloons and purchased 600 red, white and blue 260s. I practice making quick American flag hats and donkeys. I made two buttons--"Balloon Donkeys for Kerry" and "Will Twist Balloons for Floor Pass"--and headed down to the Fleet Center area.

Once again, I had several rushes of "I am a freak" as I watched fancily dressed people my age flash their passes and head into the rush of Kerry supporters filling the Fleet Center, as I stood outside, frantically trying to call attention to my cause with red, white and blue balloon festivities. But I persevered. I knew once I was in, it would all be worth it.

And in fact, I really only had to make a few balloon donkeys before a nice man, who had probably been in the hall every night, gave me his pass. "Do you want a balloon hat?" I asked him. "No, thanks. But enjoy," he said.

Thankfully, I made it through security (they wanted to make sure I wasn't going to make a large 600 balloon bomb inside) and I sat in awe as Kerry spoke of a vision I believed in and large round balloons trinkled slowly from the ceiling, prematurely celebrating what could have been.

Happy Mardi Gras! Don't eat the cheese!

The true tales of my life as a balloon twister begin where all tales of balloon twisters begin: at a Mardi Gras themed fundraiser for the Chrohn's and Colitis Foundation. For those of you who are not familiar with the types of events twisters find themselves at, you will soon learn that they often exemplify brilliantly random pairings of themes and causes.

I was "hired" (no pay, expenses covered) by a classmate of mine who suffered from Chron's/secretly had a crush on me. Nervous about my first real public twisting performance, I loading up my balloon belt with purple, green and gold colored balloons and practiced making Mardi Gras mask balloons, jester balloons and crazy balloon hats.

I dressed nicely (skirt, party shoes) as the event was a black tie affair, but quickly found that donning the balloon belt classified me along with the "help"--the waiters, bellhops and other hotel staff. Someone asked me if they could leave their drink with me (when my hands were busy pumping and twisting). Some drunk silent auction visitors asked if they could bid on me. And when I was finished twisting and went to get something to eat off the buffet line, someone exclaimed, "Look, it's the balloon lady!" which in my head sounded like, "Look, it's alive!"

Someone asked me to make a motorcyle. It ended up looking like skunk road kill. In fact, most of the things I made that night wound up looking like some type of internal organ, which I guess was kind of ironically funny given all these people had corroding intestines...I also printed out business cards that had this bubble font that I thought looked like a balloon but ended up being so illegible that it looked like my phone number was (000) 000-0000. Way to promote...

Looking back on all this now, I was feeling the first-gig jitters, feeling like a little bit of a freak, and figuring out what I was good at (talking to people) and not good at (taking requests of things I had not made before). I didn't any money but at least ended up with some extra purple, green and gold balloons...

Year 1: Learning the Twist

It was not until an entire year past of my working as a professional balloon twister that I realized the magnitude of stories, thoughts and haphazard life realizations I had acculumulated. So as not to overlook a years worth of twisting fun, I will highlight some of the "Best of Balloon Twisting" gigs in the next few entries to get you up to date.

Introduction/How I got started

At age 10, I was terrified of balloons popping.

At age 13, I combatted my fears by purchasing Balloon Magic by Marvin Hardy and teaching myself how to make a dog and a flower.

At age 23, I googled "balloon animals" and found the Twist and Shout balloon twisting convention and a whole world of things you could make happen with balloons.

At age 26, I was unemployed and depressed and found that when I made balloon animals, 2 things happened:

1. I was happy.
2. I made some serious cash.

So at age 26, I decided to pursue becoming a professional balloon twister. These are my stories.